People don’t understand what autism is and they think they can figure it out from Google. That is not the case. I don’t ever recommend looking things up on Google; I learned this the hard way. I tried to find the right tools and resources time after time but met dead ends.
I tried to ask people questions and they always responded “every child is different.” I got the answers that I didn’t want. They say that you know your child better than anyone else, and I was always like sure I do, but how do I help him progress in a normal way?
I ask myself many questions…
- Will my child be normal? This is the constant battle I go back and forth about daily. What really is normal? I can’t define it so why does it even matter? I define “normal” as not flapping his hands and stimming all the time. I define it as doing the activities and having the behavior that regular kids do… you know… everything. My kid is special and unique in his own way and there is nothing I can change.
- Will he be in special ed?? Well, that is a question that I do not know the answer. I know that currently he is getting all the help that he can, but in the future it might still affect him. Only time will tell for this one.
- Will he ever talk?? I am positive that he will, it is just a matter of time before he does. It is a never-ending crusade, but I have complete faith. Each day we make small strides that lead us in the right direction.
- Will he ever calm the stimming down? Stimming is when he makes noises and flaps his hands. This behavior arises when he tries to adjust to stress, boredom, life, or whatever the case may be. It can be pretty constant. I am sure in time this will fade away as well. Once he can talk, I am confident that this reaction will decrease just because of the fact that he won’t be as stressed or frustrated.
Being an autism parent is hard because I put a lot of the blame on myself. I know that it isn’t my fault, but as a parent we want the best for our kids and try to fix everything. When we can’t, we beat ourselves up and tend to find ways to escape.
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It’s very difficult I have heard with autism parents and like you said, a lot of them place blame on themselves. I’m sure it will get easier and having other moms who are going through similar circumstances can be uplifting even if it is just a group online! BlyssYourHeart.com
thank you for the kind words, it really means a lot!
Hey, I am with you! We just received an ASD diagnosis (Aspergers) at the age of 12. I’m learning and growing right along with you. 🙂
Glad to have you here! It is a fun and different experience happy to answer any questions or support.
I’m a kindergarten teacher, and have had a lot of experience with students with autism. All of my students have been different with their behavior and stimming. The occupational therapists and speech and language pathologists help tremendously to help children express themselves in socially appropriate ways. These students have a special place in my heart.
thanks for your kid words, so true.
This was such a great read. Thank you for sharing your experience.
you’re welcome
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I’m a former autism therapist and have seen how hard it is for parents, but am amazed at all the hard work they put in to help their children.
thanks for the kind words