Since going through a divorce, I have realized that I need to be able to cover myself and my family. I needed to step up mentally for myself and my son. I do not trust anyone, right now, and don’t know if I ever will again. When I say mentally, what I mean is change my mindset. You see when you change your mindset and realize that you have happiness right in front of you.
Going through a divorce caused me to make a lot of changes, changes that needed to be made. I am thankful for these these changes as they have helped me become the person that I needed to be. For so long I felt like I wasn’t the Susie most people knew and I was lost. It was because I let go of myself.
When you think you can trust someone and all the things go wrong, you learn real fast to protect yourself. Whether you are going through a divorce, or just are going through things, there are a few things you can do to protect yourself:
- Get everything in writing: This is key, you need to make sure that you are always watching your shoulder. Anything of any importance needs to be always documented. This will protect you so much in the long run.
- Bite your tongue: There will be drama, but you need to know it doesn’t matter. Just bite your tongue and let the he/she said crap go away. No one cares about it in court.
- Watch who you talk to: I deleted a TON of people out of my life. This doesn’t mean necessarily deleting off social media, but rather not talking to them about anything that could harm myself. If you decide to talk mutual people, just keep what is going on to yourself.
- Do not lie: I don’t ever lie period. SO this is a no brainer to me. But if you have everything in writing there is no way to lie.
- Have a mentor: Someone you can help you, and listen. Whenever I wanted to react to something I would call this person and they would talk me out of doing something stupid. This person could be a sibling, best friend, or parent. You want to make sure that it is someone you can trust.
- Hire a lawyer: My lawyer bill is HIGH. But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way simply because I never went through this before so I did not know what to expect. I had to ask tons of questions and send tons of information including screenshots and it all added up.
You need to protect yourself at all times, since there is going to be so much going on. You have to “do you” and take care of you that is it. Do not second guess yourself AT ALL. You will get through this hardest time of your life, do not worry.
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