Autism Truths – Getting an Independent Child

When I first found out my son was autistic, I felt like I sheltered him. Even like I found excuses for him not to do something. I doubted myself and my son. I kept coming up with excuses for why I couldn’t communicate with him. Once my son started to interact and listen, I felt like I could let go a little bit. Maybe my son could be independent. One day, I realized I want my kid to be independent. I had to make changes so he could.

As a kid with autism, I want my kid to be independent. It’s OK for him to be independent, it’s OK for him not to be as social as he needs to be. This justification is all called acceptance but really and truly it’s OK because I am independent. I am an introvert. I believe we don’t need to be social all the time, and I don’t think that we must be extroverts. My son is OK being the way that he is. I’m happy and proud that he can amuse himself and be independent. I don’t want my son to rely on anybody but himself. Each day, I have to let go a little bit more and more.

What do I mean by him being independent?

He now has chores and commands that I’ve given him. I ask him to take his coat off and hang it up or to take his backpack and put it away. Simple tasks requests from me, and he does them. I allow him to do gymnastics and soccer with very little help now. He can pick up his toys and put them away when asked. I ask him to wash his hands, and he can understand. We are working on doing more chores around the house such as putting his dishes away, putting his clothes away, and putting his food away.

I have loved watching him gain his independence.


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  1. My son is autistic as well … sometimes I feel hesitant to make requests because I know it could be a struggle and it would be easier to do it myself. But I know the end goal is for him to grow up and be an independent adult so it’s something we have to do as parents. Those little victories are extra though.

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