Nothing Happens Overnight – Take Care of Yourself

It doesn’t matter what you want to achieve; it takes time and dedication. Lately, I have been down. There are so many factors. There have been personal, business, and life obstacles. Nothing that we can’t handle, and I know we all go through challenges. But, I have to keep reminding myself that nothing happens overnight.

Finding good friends or family members to confide in is essential. It is incredible how pieces come together. In order to achieve anything, you need to realize a few things that will help you to make changes in the future.

  • Patience. Always know that matters do take time. Find ways to get rid of your nervousness or anxiousness. Going to the gym can help a ton. Discover something to help your mind keep going so that you don’t get caught over thinking about the current situation. Enjoy the work out book. 
  • Change bad habits. This item can be harder than anything else. It takes a lot of time and patience, for sure. Whatever your bad habits are, write them down, and put into play how you are going to change them. For example, I am trying to be much more positive and stop complaining. We all do it, but I need to let things go that either I don’t like or bother me. I have kept a journal to help me stay focused and remind me daily.  Make sure to get a journal. 
  • Set goals. Whatever your goals are (personal, financial, etc.), establish them, and make them as realistic as possible. There is nothing worse than setting goals that aren’t attainable. These goals are just something simple and fun.
  • Reflect. Always take the time to reflect on life, goals, etc. If you aren’t moving forward, why not? Take note of anything in the process, as well. If something isn’t working, observe and explain the reason. I can’t stress how vital a journal is for this and other cases.

Realize that time does fly by and nothing happens overnight. Give yourself a break, and truly take the time to enjoy and reflect on life.selfcare

 

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Break through for an Autism child

It seems that everyday we learn or do something new with Antonio’s autism. He is constantly changing. Kids go through changes autistic or not. The question is why and how to deal with them. Sometimes I wonder where he even comes up with these things that he does. However, it makes me happy when there is a new habit he starts because I know that we are making small steps .

I often wonder even is autism? I still haven’t found the answer to this. I’m not sure I ever will either, all I know is my kid is “different”.” But he is the happiest of them all, so it makes my job slightly easier. He lights up the room and enjoys life. The doctor gives fancy definitions but since every single kid is different there isn’t no real reason why or what.

I noticed that music and tv makes Antonio the happiest! This is considered “self-stimulating.” This is basically what makes him happy. It is when there is a repetition of movements, sounds or objects. This is a great characteristic of autism. But when he is watching tv he seems calmer.

What I love is that lately he has found his own way to communicate.. He will go up to someone’s hand or shirt and pull on it. This is his way of getting someone to walk over to what he wants whether it’s food or a toy, etc. This makes my heart melt just a little inside and I LOVE IT!

I try to take him out and expose him to as much I can. When we are in stores and I let him walk he will often times stop and sit on the floor. It could be embarrassing for me not him, but in this scenario I pick him up and take him towards something of interest and say, get up walk, with a great patient voice.

I told myself when I found out that he was autistic I was given this because God believed I could do this, he wanted to give me a challenge; he knew I am strong and could handle it! So with that being said I make sure to try to be patient and strong with him, and even others.

So when you are our and about and there’s a different kid.. or even a mother rushing.. or a mother trying to gather her kids. Tell her she is doing a great job she will appreciate more than you know. If you a mother you understand the struggles.

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The Autism Truth From A Mother’s Perspective

We have been down this road before the regression stage. I get excited when he does something then its not consistent. I am his cheerleader and get So freaking excited, but then go back to being down because we weren’t 100% successful. I beat myself up. I constantly wonder what the heck is going on and what is wrong? I hate not knowing those truths!  I mean lets be honest here. 

I wonder is it me? Is it him? Why can’t we just be consistent? Then I read and talk to others; it takes a kid 1,000 times before they are consistent with anything. So with a special needs kid, it takes at least double that. So keep doing, and don’t get frustrated, is what I tell myself..

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Sometimes it doesnt matter if you are helping him learn because everything you do is. So sitting there stressing about everything isnt efficient. You need to have learning times and then breaks; it is too much for both of you.

I remember this day so good. I was doing some work from my phone and was in his room. I was just watching him play and letting him be that independent boy that he is! I then stopped and said okay it’s learning time. I have to get through to him it’s my goal. I started to worry because those thoughts are crazy hard for me and I just want the outcome to happen already!

So I thought about what to do to get through to him. Then I realized  lets be natural together. He loves tickling and being silly so why not?! I kept tickling and making him go a little backwards and his giggles made me feel the warmth and happiness inside. I said “more”, something that we have been working on for decades… He said more back and it was clear as day I got super excited and kept going with the play.

We have been enforcing “more” since he as about a year old with sign language for food, milk, toys, play, etc. So this isnt a surprise to me, but it felt so good to be able to hear that and have that happiness feeling inside of me!

The hardest part is that he is a toddler, two to be exact, and I feel we are in the terrible twos AND autistic so its double the trouble and patience. He tests me a lot, what kid doesn’t and lately he is laughing when I tell him “no.” Before he was two, I swear he listened much better and stopped when I said no. So enter terrible two’s lets do this.

You see that sometimes the play and learning is the way you want it to be. We all need to be more natural and relaxed; our kids can feel it too. Laugh a little and enjoy those moments for what they are worth, it goes too fast.

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Being A Parent To An Autism Child

Lately I have been so hard on myself since Antonio is dealing with autism much more. I can’t help but feel like a bad mother even though I am far from it. I feel bad that I have to enforce and wait for him to let me know that he understands things. What does that even mean?  It got me thinking why do we beat ourselves up as parents?  

So since he got diagnosed with autism, we have been working with some great speech therapists. We have had to learn how to be more patient. Whenever he wants something he has to point to it or make a noise. This is hard because I need to have time and patience for myself and him, but it is also hard because sometimes he gets mad and frustrated which causes him to cry. I don’t like seeing my kid unhappy and having a meltdown. Which in turns causes me to break down.

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The even harder part is when we are out in public and I have to discipline him and not give in. I know this sounds like a duh moment as a parent, but the truth is it’s harder than you think. We went to the playground with friends who have kids and the minute we got there he through a tantrum. He had some major social anxiety and separate anxiety. He was super whining the whole time and didnt want to be a normal kid. Instead of just giving into him and letting him leave the playground I worked with him and kept re directing him to the playground. Some might say this is normal for a two year old but he was showing signs of autism by not wanting to play with the kids and covering his ears etc. I kept encouraging him and talking to him. I stood by his side for every single step. This is how I dealt with autism. I literally came home and cried. I cried because I felt like a mother who couldn’t help her son. I couldn’t understand what he was upset about.

Another scenario .. My kid sometimes just stops in the middle of a store, sits down, and laughs, or screams; he even tries to lick the floor. Which is when I lose it and scream because in public like no the floor is NOT OKAY!  He likes to lay down and not get up! People stop and stare and then look at me. I get it, but I am doing the best I can. At the end of the day I see his smile and it makes me know I must be doing something right! So I beat myself up because I get frustrated and wish my kid could communicate and understand better, but the reality is he can’t and this is acceptance. I have to work with him slowly and be patient.

I want to be able to get through to him more than anything in the world! All in time I keep telling myself! What are some struggles that you face with being a parent?

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Regression & Pointing with Autism Kids

Everyday is a learning experience now with an autistic kid. This is the truth and the new normal now. It seems to hurt me somedays since I feel like my kid should he “farther” and different than the rest. But I have to remember that is incredibly unique, happy, healthy, and smart. 

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It seems that today people put so much pressure on us to leave this “ happy life” You know that picture perfect that you envisioned when you found you were younger. I tell myself that God wouldn’t give me anything that I can’t handle and that is the truth.

Let’s put all those “picture perfect” visions and thoughts away because they wont ever be true; that is just reality. Its the same feelings you get when you are about to get married, you think your life will forever change and be perfect. Then you have that first fight and the second and you realize it isnt what you envisioned because society makes us think this stuff!

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So now back to the autism… I can’t expect things to happen overnight. I can’t expect my kid to be like others. I can’t compare my kid to other autistic kids. The only thing that I can do is be a parent to my son. I have to accept all of this for what it is worth and realize nothing is perfect and wont ever be.

Being a parent is the hardest freakin thing, ever. If someone would of told me this years ago, I wouldn’t of believed them! So what does all this even mean? There is going to be times for me as a parent when things are rough with an autism kid. I can’t help it when he throws a tantrum, I want to give in.

I get upset when he can’t communicate to me and he doesnt understand me… I get anxiety thinking what should I do to make this easier for us? He is incredibly freaking smart, don’t get me wrong. I get so excited when he accomplishes the simplest tasks, but it just hard to communicate to one another!

Helping your kid point his or her finger is the number one thing we have learned, and are working on, since it is a form of communication. I literally have to get in his face to try to communicate and get across to him.

Regression sucks! There isnt any consistency in anything that we do and its hard. We will point to our nose, work on all day, then the next day, he just doesnt remember it. We have to go over it all again. Its the same thing with speech and so much more. So it is really tough guys. I have no really ideas to help get through to him as of right now since we are still in the beginning stages, but I promise you I am working HARD on this!

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A Fun DIY Fall Activity

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I love this time of year: Halloween, fall, oh my, it is so much fun. I love being able to spend time with my son and have some one on one time with him; better yet this time is a great time for learning. It helps us to create some great memories. When you create a craft with a kid they are constantly thinking and taking it all in, so its important to make sure to keep talking and interact with him. 

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This is a great autistic item also as well it helps develop fine motor skills as well as improve the child’s attention span, self-expression, and reducing stress. Antonio loved examining each item, the glue, the googly eyes, and even the construction paper; he couldn’t take his eyes off the craft!

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We got this awesome craft idea,Wise Ol’ Owl Craft… Perfect for Fall, from the Dollar Tree. It is super easy and fun!  It is adorable and gives a little Halloween spirit to it without it even being so traditional. This is a great craft to keep in your child’s memory book as well. Let your little one enjoy this craft and have fun with it!

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What we purchased: 

Even better than all of this is that it was a great frugal project. I love the Dollar Tree for many things such as small gifts, cards, craft projects, and birthday goodies!!

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Check out the full project here: https://blog.dollartree.com/teacher-idea-wise-ol-owl-craft/

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Five things you need to do weekly

I never had anxiety or worried until I became a mother. I mean it makes sense, but I still wonder how and why. My doctor gave me a list of things to do to help but I am who I am and I needed to find my own way to do things. 

  1. take care of yourself. Get a massage or a facial or a hair cut. I promise you that even if it is bi weekly or monthly you need to make sure to take care of yourself.
  2. detox social media when I went on vacation I literally left social media behind. Some were scheduled some weren’t. People do it all the time and you will be able to just relax and detox.
  3. do a hobby so my hobbies are music and photography. But my thing is that I make a list of new things to do. We play corn hole weekly and I never thought I would like it! It kept my mind busy and helped me enjoy something new
  4. take a walk it doesn’t matter where you go or for how long just do it. It will help clear your mind and let the stress go away
  5. enjoy a bath there is nothing more calming to me than to enjoy some music and put oils in the tub and just literally enjoy life.

Furthermore, there are things that I do daily; this helps me get through the day and push through anxiety.

  1. go sit in my hammock I literally love to watch things happen outside and enjoy the nature noises.  
  2. read the bible this has become something new to me. I used to go to church when I was younger and now I realize that I need it again.
  3. listen to upbeat music or whatever music you like that will make you feel good.
  4. keep a schedule this helps me stay focused and get things done.
  5. have a notebook I constantly write in it about my thoughts, notes, things to do, etc. This helps me again stay focused and let all my mental thoughts pass by.

What are some things you do?

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