After going through a divorce recently, I decided that I am not ever going to get married again. My dad told me not to say never, but I know in my mind and heart that I won’t remarry. Why? It isn’t worth it to me. I might date, fall in love, or move in with someone but the responsibilities of being married are too high.

When I was younger, I had the perfect picture of how marriage and life had to be laid out. You know, the union forever and ever, then having kids, maintaining a good job, next retirement, and being with that person my whole life. Maybe it is because my parents had that marriage success. Perhaps it doesn’t seem real anymore these days; maybe it’s make-believe. I do not know. Either way, when that dream gets crushed, why do it again?

All I know is that I won’t go through with marriage again. Here’s why.

• Wedding – waste of money: having a wedding is WAY too expensive. I won’t ever have one, even with the justice of the court. We made a lot of money off of our wedding also, and where did it go? Who knows? Money is tough.
• Divorce – waste of money: Then, when you decide your marriage isn’t going to work, it costs MORE money. You have to file and pay a lawyer and pay, pay, pay. It’s horrible. So, all that money you saved no longer matters. Besides, when you have to split assets between you and your ex, you both worked hard, and now, both just got screwed in many ways.
• Emotional: the emotional element is one of the hardest, and I will not remarry for this reason. We get too attached, or I do. I relied on my ex WAY too much because that’s how it works, right? WRONG. Do not ever rely on anyone else but yourself. It is okay to ask for help, but never have someone do something that you can do.
• Too much responsibility: There is too much involved with another marriage. You have to take care of that person, spend time with them, etc. When you go from married to divorce to single, you realize you can do so much and can rely on yourself.
• Don’t want to change my name: Ain’t nobody got time to change names to new titles. It’s too much financially and physically, not even worth it.
• I want all responsibility: I want to be independent and take care of everything myself. Being a single mom, I have done it all now. I don’t want to be codependent on someone again.
• Financial: This should be one of the first reasons. Even if I got a prenup, you still could lose a lot of money from everything that happens during a marriage. I do not ever want to go through a divorce again and throw away so much money; from retirement to savings to paychecks to the rest.
• Getting rid of photos: UM hello, empty walls. I am just going to fill the walls with my son and fun, dreamy decorations since that seems to be the best option.
• Hurts everyone around me: You will lose family through a divorce, and even friends. People are understanding, but they feel the hurt and pain with you if you decide to get remarried, etc. It is just too complicated to try to determine who you are going to keep as friends or family through each step.

Why do we need to have that perfect picture marriage and life? Why does everyone feel hurt and the constant battle to fit that mold? I know I did, but why? What’s the big deal? Who cares if we have kids before marriage or never get married. Who cares? Let’s live life and stop over-thinking it all. People will change and hurt you… maybe intentionally or maybe unintentionally. There isn’t anything wrong with the decisions that you make. Screw up a little and let life throw a curveball at you – it’s fun!

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