Surviving Your First Holiday Alone
The first holiday time with your family after a divorce will be the hardest. You will get blank stares. People will want to ask but don’t even know what to say. You will think people are staring at you and judging you quietly. You will be over thinking, wondering what they know and if they are going to judge you.
You see how happy they are and wonder what the heck went wrong. But then someone comes up to you and tells you a story and you know it’s fine. Their story is about whatever is happening in their life and not about yours because they don’t care about yours. They want you to know that they aren’t judging you and you had to do what you had to do.
Honestly, I have always been hard on myself and always over-thought everything. The truth is people don’t care as much as we think they do. I keep telling myself it honestly does take two, and sometimes it is merely what it is, and it’s time to move forward.
Then… You get a call from your ex’s family to make you even more anxious and mad. You don’t know what to say other than, “Happy Easter.” The biggest phrase people always say is, ‘how are you?’ Do you want the truth or a fake statement? Fake = I am okay. Truth = I want to beep beep beeep beeeep beeeep. But I take the higher road and know that no one else needs to know our drama.
All this time, I thought no one cared or that people were talking about me. Honestly, people know it can happen, and it does take two sometimes. The best advice I can give you is to let it go and enjoy this moment. Stop over-thinking. When you are with your family, know they are ‘on your side’ and genuinely do care.
People want you to be happy. No one is going to really care about your story. Divorces happen more often than we know and others just want you to be happy. And, all in time, you will be.
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