When Your Child With Autism Goes to School; Navigating the System and Building Your Team (Part 2: 11 Tips to Team Success)

Keeping the points from my previous post in mind, here are some things you can do to make your school experience with your child with Autism the best possible journey.

  1. Educate yourself.  Before you go into your first meeting with your school, learn about your school district/division, state/province policies, procedures and beliefs around high needs learners. This will allow you to go into the meeting knowing your rights and your limitations regarding what you can expect for your kiddo.  It will guide your questioning, and will let the school team see that you are a savvy parent.
  2. Before meeting with the school team, have conversations with your autism support providers.  Your SLP, OT, PT, Autism Support Worker, medical team… everyone who works with your kiddo.  Some of these services may no longer be able to provide services as there will be people within the school system who will provide services instead.  IF this is the case, ask for a TRANSITION MEETING which INCLUDES you.  Transition meetings ensure that information is passed from one specialist to another.  Your presence at the meeting will give you the advantage of knowledge so that you can continue to support the service and so that you can have input into where changes might be needed.
  3. Talk to the Special Educator, Principal or professional who is designated in charge of special programming.  Find out what you can expect regarding a TEAM approach.  Many schools have mandates for team approaches.  Not all schools follow through with a full team approach.  By knowing what to expect, and by knowing the school district/division expectations, you will be empowered to request the level of team collaboration that you are entitled to and comfortable with.  Team meetings are time consuming to set up and take a great deal of coordination as many professionals have huge case loads.  But don’t let this deter you! Be as flexible and accommodating as you can, but make sure meetings are happening.  Set the next meeting at the end of the current one while everyone is at the table.  Generally there will be a team leader that takes care of this, but if they forget or omit to do it, bring it up!
  4. Ask for notes and  keep a file.  You are entitled to copies of any notes from team meetings, so ask for a copy and take your own notes to be sure you remember discussions.  Sometimes time spans between meetings can be great and people may forget discussions.  Having your own notes empowers you to help keep the team on track.
  5. Get copies of professional reports and assessments for your file. Specialist reports will be available to you at some level. Professionals who do assessments have different protocols regarding sharing of information.  There are also some types of reports where numbers and scores cannot be shared.  (This is to your advantage, so respect it! Sharing of numbers increases the risk that people who aren’t trained to interpret scores might get hold of them and misinterpret them or breach confidentiality!)  But get copies of whatever you can, especially the recommendations for programming!  SIGN whatever sharing agreements are necessary between your current service providers and the school so that they can work collaboratively and make sure that programming continues uninterrupted and confidentiality is respected.
  6. ASK QUESTIONS.  Go into your meetings with questions as opposed to demands.  Questions are less harsh, but still get to the point of your concerns. Your team will be receptive.  Demands have the effect of putting people on the defensive which makes for difficult team dynamics. Asking questions gives you the opportunity to hear what people’s ideas and plans are, and ensures that all team members are hearing what others think, and have the opportunity to give their input.  (See www.empoweredparentplan.com for a downloadable list of questions you can ask or adapt to your needs.)
  7. You will probably be asked to sign a form which outlines your child’s goals and program.  Make sure you understand it, and ask for clarification before signing.  These program plans are mandated in most school districts/divisions and are legal documents.  Please understand that they take a huge amount of time and coordination to put together, and that the person who’s preparing them probably is preparing a lot of them.  There may be mistakes or things left out.  Checking before signing is diligent, and will be helpful in making sure that things are clear.  Going forward, focus your discussions around that plan.  Copies of the plan should be shared with you and with anyone working with your child.  Most of these plans are “living documents” which means they are not written in stone.  If you think something’s not working, have a meeting to change the plan.
  8. IF there is a change in schools because of a move or moving up grades, or if a team member changes within the school, make sure that a transition meeting is held.  There should be a transition process for your child as well so that they understand the change and are not surprised/upset by it.  In my experience, sometimes things happen quickly and the school may not have thought about or had time for a transition.  Feel free to bring up the idea and ask how the change can be eased for your child. Social stories are a great strategy for transitions.
  9. Educational Associates or Teacher Aides, (whatever your school district calls paraprofessionals hired to support your child’s programming), are a great resource for your child, but they are not the teacher. Not all students with high needs will have full paraprofessional support.  It’s not always needed.  Sometimes it is needed, but budgets are tight and the school is unable to provide additional supports.  This can be a touchy subject.  First of all, realize that your child’s primary educator needs to be the teacher.  If other students or a paraprofessional are able to give some additional help that is perfect.  But make sure that decisions are being made and that your communication occurs WITH the teacher.  Some teachers feel inadequate when working with high needs kids because they have little experience or training with the specific special need, and are inclined to give a lot of responsibility to paraprofessionals who have the best of intentions, but may not have any training or experience with Autism. Teachers have a team of other professionals around them who can support and advise them.  Children with Autism often become very attached to and comfortable with a paraprofessional, which is great in so many ways.  Difficulty working with anyone other than the aide is not good for your child.  If they will only work for one particular aide, and there is a change, your child may have difficulty.  Paraprofessionals can also be assigned to work with OTHER students freeing the teacher to work with your child. I would never undervalue the role of the paraprofessional because I know from experience how an Aide in the classroom can be a life saver for the teacher and a huge asset to the child.  But as a parent, as much as you can, encourage your child’s learning flexibility and being given social and learning opportunities with PEERS, and some time with the teacher and perhaps other assistants, not just socializing all day with one particular adult. The paraprofessional should be a facilitator of social interactions, not a replacement for them.
  10. 10.You know your child best.  It’s not a bad idea to remind others of that sometimes.  On the other hand, your child may not behave the same at school as at home for a variety of reasons (another whole blog post for this).  Sometimes parenting kids with ASD can be so exhausting for parents that they slowly, slowly start giving in on more and more things.  It’s easier to give in than to fight, and you’ve got your kiddo 24/7. This is your reality.  It may not hurt to consider how the school is addressing things differently, and to carry that strategy into the home.
  11. 11.In my work with high needs kids, my biggest belief is that if we can give them nothing else, we should at the very least give kids what they want/need most in life, and that is Social Opportunity.  What we all want for our kids is for them to have friends and be loved, valued and included.  This is the gift of inclusion.  In the final analysis, whether or not your kiddo can name the food groups is much less important than whether or not s/he can live, work and play with others peacefully and be truly part of a group.  I could go ON and ON on this point.  In my view peers are not other high needs kids.  Peer groups should be a reflection of everyday society, including people of all abilities and needs.  My personal bias I know, but also the belief of many individuals and groups who work with high needs individuals.  There may be a place for some time in individual program work where life or communication skills can be learned and practiced away from the group.  But in general, your kiddo needs to learn to exist in the world.  And that can only be learned through practice.  We are social beings, and social learners. Even kids with Autism desire social contact because it is innate in all of us!  But they have trouble with it.  Social anxiety is often the underlying cause of this, and there are ways to address this if we try.  But being removed from social situations does not help.  Preparing for social situations is key.

I’ve said so much here and I fear it may be overwhelming.  I’m truly passionate about this topic and believe that children with ASD are a joy and a privilege to know and work with. I also know that they can be very challenging. When you enter the school system and through life, you are your kiddo’s #1 advocate.  Your engaged, informed involvement in his/her education will be a great gift both to your child and to the team working with him/her.  Know your rights, and expect them.  Be gentle but assertive with your team mates (they’re also trying their best!) to make the best possible collaborative work toward your child’s learning.  The value you will gain from everyone putting their efforts into the child (rather than into working against each other or constantly trying to establish a workable team) will pay off greatly.

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FACEBOOK Empowered Parent Plan~ Twitter @MpoweredparNT~ Instagram mpoweredparent ~ Pinterest Roberta Luchinski

Contact roberta@empoweredparentplan.com

BIO- Roberta Luchinski is the Owner/Facilitator of Empowered Parent Plan.  She helps busy parents prevent, respond to and change their kiddo’s difficult behaviours.  Roberta uses positive parenting strategies and brain based methods tried and true from her experience as a Mom, Grandma and 30 years of Educator experience. Roberta holds an MEd in Educational Psychology and has worked with diverse students as a Classroom Teacher, a Diversity Teacher, a Special Educator and a Consultant.

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When Your Child With Autism Goes to School; Navigating the System and Building Your Team (Part 1: Preparing YOU for When Your Child Starts School)

I have had the privilege, and I mean privilege in the most sincere way possible, of working with several children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD or Autism in this post) as a special educator, a consultant and classroom teacher in my career.  I say privilege, because these children taught me so much , especially about behaviour and inclusion.

As a special educator, one of the things I learned early in my career is that sometimes, by the time they enter the school system, parents of kids with special needs have spent years fighting for what they need for their child.  They’ve been navigating a system that has not always been easy and accessible, and have not always been listened to or honoured for what they know about their own child’s needs.

Sometimes, when parents have come into the school system, they have come in “swinging”.  They have their hackles raised, ready to fight, even before the process has begun.  This is so sad, and can sometimes start things off on a difficult note.

I’m guessing that if you are reading this, you are already relating on some level.  From an educator’s point of view, I’d like to share a few ideas that will help you gain more power and influence in the school system and in the decisions that will be made regarding your child’s education.

Ok… before I go any further there are a few things I have to clear up.

  1. Please use and ask others to use respectful terminology when referring to your child.  Your child is a child with autism (ASD), not an ASD Child or an Autistic of an Autistic child.  Respectful language puts the child first and the challenge second.  We want our kiddos to be seen as kids, not “disabilities”, and this subtle use of wording can make a difference. I don’t consider this a “labeling” problem as sometimes labeling can be quite useful.  But the label should not define the child.  Politely, with a smile, ask people to use the appropriate wording.
  2. Not all systems are the same.  The policies, procedures and processes in each school district, and even within individual schools, can differ greatly! I don’t claim to know how all schools operate regarding programming for high needs kiddos.  But knowing that all schools can differ is a powerful understanding, and one that can work to your advantage as you begin your education system journey.
  3. You need to know off the start that I’m a huge advocate of inclusion.  This is not the same as “integration”. (This is material for another article)  Inclusion goes further than integration.  Inclusion isn’t a “place” the child is in, it is more of a philosophy for making decisions in a way that does not exclude the child from experiences and opportunities.  And for me the biggest of these is social experiences and opportunities.  AND you need to know right from the get-go that not all educators and certainly not all systems agree with inclusion, or implement it in the same ways, or even fully understand it. So you may have to take a gentle lead if this is what you want.

Guest Post written by: 

Follow me at www.empoweredparentplan.com  and sign up for my email updates.

FACEBOOK Empowered Parent Plan~ Twitter @MpoweredparNT~ Instagram mpoweredparent ~ Pinterest Roberta Luchinski

Contact roberta@empoweredparentplan.com

BIO- Roberta Luchinski is the Owner/Facilitator of Empowered Parent Plan.  She helps busy parents prevent, respond to and change their kiddo’s difficult behaviours.  Roberta uses positive parenting strategies and brain based methods tried and true from her experience as a Mom, Grandma and 30 years of Educator experience. Roberta holds an MEd in Educational Psychology and has worked with diverse students as a Classroom Teacher, a Diversity Teacher, a Special Educator and a Consultant.

Purchase Picture Exchange Sytems for Autism Kids:

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Break through for an Autism child

It seems that everyday we learn or do something new with Antonio’s autism. He is constantly changing. Kids go through changes autistic or not. The question is why and how to deal with them. Sometimes I wonder where he even comes up with these things that he does. However, it makes me happy when there is a new habit he starts because I know that we are making small steps .

I often wonder even is autism? I still haven’t found the answer to this. I’m not sure I ever will either, all I know is my kid is “different”.” But he is the happiest of them all, so it makes my job slightly easier. He lights up the room and enjoys life. The doctor gives fancy definitions but since every single kid is different there isn’t no real reason why or what.

I noticed that music and tv makes Antonio the happiest! This is considered “self-stimulating.” This is basically what makes him happy. It is when there is a repetition of movements, sounds or objects. This is a great characteristic of autism. But when he is watching tv he seems calmer.

What I love is that lately he has found his own way to communicate.. He will go up to someone’s hand or shirt and pull on it. This is his way of getting someone to walk over to what he wants whether it’s food or a toy, etc. This makes my heart melt just a little inside and I LOVE IT!

I try to take him out and expose him to as much I can. When we are in stores and I let him walk he will often times stop and sit on the floor. It could be embarrassing for me not him, but in this scenario I pick him up and take him towards something of interest and say, get up walk, with a great patient voice.

I told myself when I found out that he was autistic I was given this because God believed I could do this, he wanted to give me a challenge; he knew I am strong and could handle it! So with that being said I make sure to try to be patient and strong with him, and even others.

So when you are our and about and there’s a different kid.. or even a mother rushing.. or a mother trying to gather her kids. Tell her she is doing a great job she will appreciate more than you know. If you a mother you understand the struggles.

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The Terrible Twos and Autism

Lately, I have been wondering what is going on with my son, and not really in a negative way. He has autism, and we have known that for quite some time. But now he’s also two, so which is the reason for his current behavior?

I frequently over analyze and over think, so when something happens, I begin to wonder why. That’s the nature of the game.

The other day I was feeding Antonio, and one of our rules is that in order for him to eat he either has to sign more or say more. So since he wasn’t doing either, I gave in and gave him carrots. He threw the bowl. Then I came them back and found he had fed it to the dogs. What he wanted was his chicken. He wouldn’t eat his other food until he ate his chicken first.

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The kid LOVES his meat. It never used to be like this, but now he has to do things HIS WAY or no way. He is incredibly stubborn, and I have no idea where this comes from!

So I begin to think… Is this part of the autism or have we entered the terrible twos? Does it even matter? Probably not. I thought this was pretty humorous and didn’t care much at the end of the day. But I try to hide the fact that he has autism sometimes. This word is still new to me.

I don’t always know what is defined as autism and what isn’t. I just know that my kid is not a “normal” two-year-old and it’s going to take a little bit longer before he catches up. So I take a deep breath and just shrug it off.

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View some of our favorite items for autistic kids.

  1. elmo tub 
  2. elmo letters
  3. cookie drop roll 
  4. potty songs 

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Autism weekly accomplishments

Each week, I like to share information about Antonio and his autism. This week I want to sort of take a step back and tell you about some of Antonio’s weekly accomplishments!

Autism diagnosis notwithstanding, it’s always important to notice the small baby steps and victories you see each day.

  • Antonio points now. This is a constant pointing he thinks it’s cool. I can see him smiling when he is pointing, feeling a sense of self-fulfillment. He points for small thing like a drink or toy and expects them when he does it. This is a good thing, a skill we have worked on for many weeks. My kid can be stubborn sometimes but this really showed a breakthrough!
  • He likes to take someone’s hand and walk with them to what he wants. There was a balloon on the table that he wanted, so he took his daddy’s hand brought him to the table and pointed. It’s tough that he still isn’t talking, but the fact that he has found other ways to communicate is incredible. As he is doing these things I make sure to talk and give him words of encouragement so that it sticks with him.
  • He loves playing hide and seek. Not that he didn’t before but he is totally loving opening a door and closing it then making us ask “Where’s Antonio?” and when we find him he giggles so hard. And then he quickly runs to the next door. It is the cutest thing ever and this is a new development.
  • We are slowing breaking bad habits. One of the habits we are trying to break is biting on his sippy cup. He used to chew through so many nipples and refused to use other cups. It’s been frustrating, because even if we watch him closely and remind him to stop chewing on it, he still ended up damaging it. We have encouraged him “put down” the sippy cup when he is done using it.
  • Playing with balls. He has loved balls for a little while now. But he loves to throw it and watch it bounce. This is one of the greatest things ever, for him. He will be amused with this for quite a lengthy period of time. We are currently working on helping him roll the ball, to show there are other ways to use a ball.
  • His eye contact has gotten better. He doesn’t look when we call him yet, but he definitely looks at us when we play together and I am in his face.
  • He sits for longer periods. When he is playing with a toy he likes, it can hold his attention for five minutes. I know it may not seem like a long time, but five minutes is a huge improvement.

We want to make sure that we are continuing to reward him when he accomplishes new things, reinforce good habits and continue striving for more improvement. A few of our upcoming goals include using verbal commands without the gestures he has been used to and getting him to use another sippy cup, one that doesn’t have a nipple.

He is super smart and knows what he can get away with. It’s been quite fun and entertaining to see him change each day!

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Why we only allow one hour of tv a day

It can be rough sometimes to get away from the tv. After all most times there isn’t much on that is new and exciting unless it’s one of our faves during the week.Here’s what I do know… tv needed to be cut back along with phone time. I realized I was on both a lot and not being effective with my time.

Antonio started a new program and also a day program where I had to absolutely make sure my time was well managed. I had to make sure I was on top of it.  Not to mention they stated that he shouldn’t be watching a lot of tv and named which ones were good. So we made a change that day. We cut our Mickey and only allow one hour of tv a day (myself included!)

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I feel like if I have to change things for my kid I want to do it for myself too! I want to make sure that it is cohesive and flows through out all of us in the house. When we started to do this I realized the following things!

  • It forces us to have a conversation. I’ll tell you what we all talk. There aren’t any distractions from the tv or phone! But when we realized that we had to talk we were forced to really listen. My husband was talking and I really truly felt like we were connected and not rushed!
  • It forces us to enjoy silence. Sometimes life is busy and we just need to sit down and enjoy things and take it all in. But we also need to realize that silence is okay. This allowed us to play games (insert here) and even allowed us to play with Antonio one on one. Tv can suck the life right out of all of us for sure.
  • It forces us to find things to do. We got sick of doing nothing real quick so we were forced to call on friends and go out. I know his might sound crazy but this happens to so many people! People can sucked into technology (tv, phones, tablet etc) it’s okay sometimes. Just stick to a schedule of how often and what you want to watch.

View some of our favorite items for autistic kids.

  1. elmo tub 
  2. elmo letters
  3. cookie drop roll 
  4. potty songs 

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The top 10 Resources for Autism Children

When my son was diagnosed with autism I couldn’t find much information or tools to help us. I am always constantly learning and finding new ideas. I am glad to share it with others who are in similar situations. Here are some great resources for you and your family to enjoy!

 

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Why we changed our TV entertainment.

Since Antonio is autistic we had to change our way of doing things a little. The biggest thing was watching tv. What can he watch and when? If he throws a tantrum when I turn off the tv then he needs to understand that’s not okay.

He can watch tv I’m not going to take that away from him, but we are much more strategic in what he is watching. He can only watch it for one hour and that’s before bed time when he’s winding down and drinking his milk!

We stopped watching Mickey Mouse. He loves it period. However, he appreciates when he can watch it now much more than ever before. He recognizes Mickey loves him. He still lights up when he sees anything Mickey and recognizes it quickly.

We only allow one hour of tv a day that’s it! In that hour we watch Sesame Street or Curious George. At first neither of these interest Antonio, but it took sometime to get used to it and actually enjoy it. Here are a few reasons why we switched it over and loved it!

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Both of these shows were much more learning interactive and educational. We learned the letter of the day and what that letter could be used for in real life. It grabbed his attention for longer periods.

They have realistic problem solving. With Mickey they always relied on toodles where as here it was about finding ways to do things on your own. Curious George is a great example of this because of the fact that he wasn’t always smart but did problem solve.

They have really good catchy songs for learning. Antonio loves music and can instantly relate music to learning now. They have great catchy songs that are about learning .. “the letter of the day is.. “ we love that song and he instantly stops for it!

These shows holds my kids attention. Let’s face it, sometimes he is hard to please. Mickey did too but these ones hold it in a different way. With
Mickey he would get stimulated where as these ones were just about him watching it and sitting still.

These are both still cartoons but has everyday life lessons such as counting and letters and even daily routines etc. Your child can learn from them a lot, and I am happy that we have found these programs to learn from.

View some of our favorite items for autistic kids.

  1. elmo tub 
  2. elmo letters
  3. cookie drop roll 
  4. potty songs 

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