How to Protect Yourself At All Times

November 7, 2019November 8, 20202 Comments

Since going through a divorce, I have realized that I need to be able to cover myself and my family. I needed to step up mentally for myself and my son. I do not trust anyone, right now, and don’t know if I ever will again. When I say mentally, what I mean is change my mindset. You see when you change your mindset and realize that you have happiness right in front of you.

Going through a divorce caused me to make a lot of changes, changes that needed to be made. I am thankful for these these changes as they have helped me become the person that I needed to be. For so long I felt like I wasn’t the Susie most people knew and I was lost. It was because I let go of myself.

When you think you can trust someone and all the things go wrong, you learn real fast to protect yourself. Whether you are going through a divorce, or just are going through things, there are a few things you can do to protect yourself:

Get everything in writing: This is key, you need to make sure that you are always watching your shoulder. Anything of any importance needs to be always documented. This will protect you so much in the long run.
Bite your tongue: There will be drama, but you need to know it doesn’t matter. Just bite your tongue and let the he/she said crap go away. No one cares about it in court.
Watch who you talk to: I deleted a TON of people out of my life. This doesn’t mean necessarily deleting off social media, but rather not talking to them about anything that could harm myself. If you decide to talk mutual people, just keep what is going on to yourself.
Do not lie: I don’t ever lie period. SO this is a no brainer to me. But if you have everything in writing there is no way to lie.
Have a mentor: Someone you can help you, and listen. Whenever I wanted to react to something I would call this person and they would talk me out of doing something stupid. This person could be a sibling, best friend, or parent. You want to make sure that it is someone you can trust.
Hire a lawyer: My lawyer bill is HIGH. But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way simply because I never went through this before so I did not know what to expect. I had to ask tons of questions and send tons of information including screenshots and it all added up.

You need to protect yourself at all times, since there is going to be so much going on. You have to “do you” and take care of you that is it. Do not second guess yourself AT ALL. You will get through this hardest time of your life, do not worry.

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Three Daily Easy Routines For Single Mom’s

November 5, 2019November 8, 20206 Comments

Three Daily Easy Routines For Single Mom’s

Being a single mom I have learned how to manage my time better than ever before. I have learned how to really track every single minute of the day in order for it to be successful. I do not like being in a rush or being late whenever possible; this is why I have such a great system and routine in place.

1. Start the night before: I am not a morning person. My brain is barely awake in the morning and therefore I do not like doing a whole bunch of things in the morning. When I wait until the morning to do things that is when my anxiety and stress kicks in. There is a ton of things to do in the mornings and I do not have time to do it all.

Making sure they have a set bedtime: Enforce your children’s bed time. This might take some getting used to, but when it is bedtime Antonio goes into his room and goes to bed. I make sure that his isn’t on the phone or watching tv. I let my son go in his room at 9 P.M. and sometimes he sits in there and talks or plays, but he is in bed ready to fall alsleep. You also want to make sure that you FOLLOW a bed schedule. This will help you in the long run for sure. You do not want to not get enough sleep only for the morning to be a nightmare when you can’t wake up on time.
Prep the night before: This means for yourself and the children. Get the clothes out for the next day, take a shower/bath, do your hair, meal prep and get lunches ready, have any bags packed, etc. Making a checklist for each night will be so helpful for you, and the kids, as well.

When it is just me as a single mother there is so much more to every single minute of the day; I follow some easy tips and routines to help my schedule flow nicely. Find ways to make your schedule efficient as a single mother.

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Ways to Embrace Your Parenting Style

May 3, 2019September 14, 2019Leave a comment

Author: Jessica Halverson

“If you don’t embrace who you are and accept who you are, you won’t be able to live a happy life.” ~ Ciara

This quote speaks to me on many levels. It especially rings true in parenthood. If you embrace who you are as a parent and accept that as the truest version, then perhaps you can have a happy time parenting.

Now, I’m not saying you have to be on top of your game every second of every day. I’m not even saying you are doing your absolute best at each turn. All I’m saying here is that if you fully step into the light of what YOUR parenting style may be, then you stand a chance at feeling the blessing and happiness that being a parent has to offer. Bad days will still happen; some days you may want to hide under a rock. However, strength will come from knowing that you are confident in the way you are raising your child(ren) and the laughter and fun times most likely will outweigh those rough patches.

What are three ways that you can enhance learning through your parenting?

Know Your “Rules”
The hardest part of parenting is watching your kids be upset, especially if you are the root cause of that frustration/upset. Boundaries are healthy, however, and establishing “rules” that should be adhered to is key. They associates consequences to their actions, learn where rules can bend, and understand that having a set of expectations can help their behavior and growth. These guidelines also help you stay consistent and realize where your lines are drawn to avoid too many loose cannon moments (that’s not to say those won’t happen from time to time – parenting can be stressful). The fact that rules, whether they are family rules or simply an internal list, will help both parents and kids have some semblance of routine and order to their days.
Decide on Priorities Getting caught up in work, consumed by social media, or other “to-do’s” tends to happen every now and again. If you have created an order for your priorities, then you’ll be able to remind yourself of those and regain a better juggle of efforts. Pulling yourself out of whatever tunnel vision you let yourself go down will be needed. Priorities you have set may even shift, but allow that to happen. Once you decide on what parts of your life are important, bringing yourself back out of work-a-holic mode or down rabbit holes becomes easier. Give it a shot!
Go Easy on Yourself Nothing that comes with parenting is a cakewalk. Lessons can be taught in any situation. Repeat that sentence to yourself. One of the best teachable moments every day, in my opinion, is that of forgiveness. Not only can you grant yourself some grace but when your child(ren) see that, they understand that adding that into their repertoire is okay also. My favorite motto for motherhood stands as, “Some days will be better than others.” Once in a while, I want to hide away and have two seconds of alone-time. Much of the time, I enjoy being around my heathens. My kids have rough days, I have rough days, and all of that is A-okay. We work it out, hug, talk, whatever may be helpful, and hold on to “Tomorrow is a new day.” A momentary lapse of judgement on the proper behavior does not a horrible day make. Attempting to focus on the positive and not beat yourself up for a mistake means we have a chance to support each other as we get older.

Falling into your parenting will undoubtedly have stumbles along the way. Embrace them all, be confident in your abilities even on those tough days, and know that you are NOT alone in any of those struggles. Your way may not be the exact way I parent, but that does not make it wrong or worse in any way, shape, or form. Accept all the bumps and make those happy moments. Keep up the good work!

For a more in-depth look at how you can embrace your parenting to help your children learn and develop, check out my ebook here.

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The Best Autism Parenting Books

February 28, 2019March 9, 2019Leave a comment

Being a parent is no easy job, especially when you have an autistic kid. I really enjoy reading the different books that are about autism parenting books. These are all fantastic books that will help you develop a better relationship with your child.

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Who Can You Trust? Put Yourself First

February 6, 2019January 16, 2019Leave a comment

Who can you trust? Yourself.

You have to be yourself, trust yourself, and always take care of you first. Over the years, I felt like I lost track of who I was. I felt like something was missing. I had everything that I wanted: a husband, son, business… all the things I dreamed of growing up.

The thing is that I somehow lost track of who I was and what I enjoyed. I lost track because I wanted to please and nurture everyone. But I had to stop this because I realized if I wasn’t happy, then are the people around me going to be happy? Even if I have the things that truly make me happy?…

Never put anyone else first. Not your spouse, not your kids, nothing because if you don’t take care of you and love you, then the others won’t. Yes, your kids need you, etc., but if you aren’t taking care of yourself, then how can you take care of them?

How do you take care of you? That is the question. It isn’t that glamorous life where we get to have massages and chocolate. Or is it? But it is more about mindset and setting goals. If you can’t set the goals you want to achieve, then you are not taking care of you.

I listen to podcasts daily, and I change my habits daily. I find one new thing a week to do. I make time for myself, my friends, my husband, my son, and my business. It can be tough… but I learned that I needed to do this. I learned to write down one thing I am thankful for each day.

I have made adjustments in my life to take better care of myself, and you can do it too. Every little step leads to a big step! What changes are you going to do for YOU?

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The Best Sensory Books For Autism Kids

February 4, 2019January 15, 20191 Comment

Sensory books are so much fun for autism kids, they really do love them and are the best way for them to learn and have fun. These are some of our favorite books that we use on a daily basis. We know that any mom and child can appreciate these books!

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New Parent’s Check Our Top Parenting Books

December 24, 2018October 23, 2018Leave a comment

So whether you are a new mother, or a second time mother, know that all of these books can be a great tool for you. Each of them have personally helped me.

Enjoy my top parenting books I picked:

1-2-3 Magic

The Whole-Brain Child

No-Drama Discipline

The 5 Love Languages of Children

Toddler Discipline for Every Age and Stage: Effective Strategies to Tame Tantrums, Overcome Challenges, and Help Your Child Grow

Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men

I know there are so many people around me having babies, especially new parents. When I became a new mother, I felt like I NO resources or tools. I felt like I couldn’t learn enough before becoming a parent. But even after you become a parent there is the constant learning and struggling going on. So whether you are a new mother, or a second time mother, know that all of these books can be a great tool for you. Each of them have personally helped me.

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