What is Selfish, Are We All Selfish?

May 24, 2019May 24, 2019Leave a comment

Lately, I hear so many people talking about being selfish. It bothers me and gets me thinking. What does it mean? Aren’t we all a little selfish to some extent?

We think selfishness is a person who lacks any concern for the values of others. This individual is someone who does not value other people or fairness or does not go out of their way for someone else. Those that are selfish think the world owes them and that there is no benefit to helping or serving someone else.

Why talk about this? Because I think we need less of it. We need to care for others and go out of our way for others, especially those we love. I never realized this until now. I appreciate so many people around me and want to do more for them. I want to help others.

How am I doing more of this? I donated a ton of baby stuff to a family in need. It is one of those things that you feel good about because you know that they actually need the items. I could have taken it to a shop and gotten some money for it all, but it isn’t even worth it.
I started to send thank you cards/notes to clients and vendors. I love letting people know that I think about them and appreciate them. When is the last time you did something good for someone?
Whenever I get something from someone (no matter how big or small), I feel important and special. I have received some cute and adorable stuff over the years from various people, and there is nothing better than that feeling.
I have missed out on weddings, birthdays, showers, etc. because of life. I feel like I need to go back and send something out to let them know I was thinking of them and was selfish. I can’t blame being busy and life anymore.

I can be selfish sometimes, where I only want to do what I want to do and do them my way. Maybe there is some stubborn streak in me, too. But the bottom line is that we should use the word selfish to mean something more and to help out others. Check in on your friends and stop judging them whenever possible.

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Texting is HORRIBLE we should all stop doing it.

March 22, 2019March 24, 20191 Comment

I hate texting. Texting is dangerous. As we get older we start to realize that texting is horrible and should be taken away from us. Have you ever sent a text and got it interpreted the wrong way? Have you ever sent a mean text and wish you hadn’t? Have you ever sent a drunk text? We should stop doing all these things. Its harder as adults for a few reasons..

Why texting is bad

We cant read the attitude or sarcasm: Think about the time when you have gotten a text and read it all the wrong way. Think about the time you got a text and didn’t even understand it and instead you sent a text back that was WAYY out of line. This happens so many times to people. We just want to respond, but often times respond with the wrong words.
We cant go back on our word: Once we say it in a text, we can’t delete it. We can’t delete words in real life either. We need to stop and think before we respond verbally, emotionally, or through text. It is tough. We are human and have emotions, so make sure to think before acting always. Words can hurt sometimes more than actual physical abuse.
Screenshots or saved chats: If you are going through something, or might be in the near future, then texting can be a bad thing. People will screenshot so that they can keep it and hold it against you. This is one of the worst things about texting. Even if they have no reason to save it, they might for a rainy day. Truth.

There are a ton of reasons why texting is bad. The next time you go to send a text think about it before it happens. You can’t go back in texts so make sure that you are saying what you mean.

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It is Okay to Cry

March 15, 2019March 16, 201910 Comments

I wish more people would understand this. I feel like people are ashamed to cry or think it’s a sign of weakness it’s not. Emotions are real and if you don’t release them then you won’t be happy. You won’t be happy with yourself. It’s really that simple.

Its okay to say sorry. I think people are afraid of being wrong. I don’t mind being wrong at all. I don’t mind apologizing when I was wrong. I think this is another thing that the world needs more of. If I do not let out my crying, I end up having a panic attack because I have all these emotions built up that cant be released.

Why don’t more people understand and get that? Going through this divorce I did both of these things and I gained how to move forward. I realized that I needed to do both for my son. I want him to grow up knowing it’s okay to cry and say his sorry. It’s not a sign of weakness and no one will make fun of you.

I’ll tell you a quick story. When I know a divorce was coming I fought to try to stop it. I went to church and literally cried the whole time because everything made sense to me! So with that being said, I went out to breaksfat with some friends afterwards. I ordered sausage and gravy because I don’t have it enough!!I miss it in Nashville. One girl ordered steak and eggs and wanted medium rare. I bawled my eyes. I couldn’t hold it together. I had realized how much a best friend affects you. It was his favorite food, steak. I cried most of the breakfast. The girls didn’t know the whole story but they said “it’s brave of you to cry here we have all been through stuff we respect you and will pray for you.” I cried even harder knowing that I wasn’t embarrassing them and that they weren’t even asking questions.

I didn’t care if people stared. I didn’t care that my make up was a mess. I didn’t care about any of it because If I didn’t let it out I would of had to leave or have a panic attack or both. I knew that I had good friends by my side and made it all better.

So cry more and apologize more. We need more of it. And uplift someone when they are having a hard time.

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What is Self Growth?

March 8, 2019March 9, 20196 Comments

Have you ever faced self doubt and low self esteem head on? I mean you are only human so I am sure you have. I know I have.. I have faced it for years because I didn’t take care of myself. I doubted myself and everything around me. It is hard for many reasons to have self doubt..

So what is self growth?

Since going through a divorce, I took control of my life and all that I needed to do. I needed to better myself. I did it for ME. No one else. It’s more than pedicures and massages.. In fact it’s beyond that. I made changes because I needed to find myself. We all need to think about ourselves more often; you aren’t being selfish by doing this.

I listen to a podcast every single morning. It helps me get motivated and focused for the day. We all need something! It literally gives me the reality check that I need, so that I can feel good about myself for the day.
I love music. I have different songs for different moods. I like to listen to just about everything, so I don’t discriminate when it comes down to it.
I read something daily. I have backed away from social media and only use it for work now. But I read something daily, whether its just quick news online, or a book from my nightstand.. I take the time to read something different for each day.
I find inspiration quotes daily. I love scrolling through the internet while eating breakfast and finding quotes that I can relate to. It helps me get motivated and uplifted for the day.
I text affirmations to friends daily. I have a group of people that we send positive vibes only to one another. It really truly helps, we know what we need to send to each other, so that can get excited for the day.
I believe in God. I have started going to a great church. It has been great to be able to confine in him. I have been able to take care of myself and gain the confidence that I need in life.
I do breathing exercises. Whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed I take deep breaths. I fill my head with positive thoughts and repeat this several times until I feel better.
I exercise. I like to exercise to let out stress. I don’t do it to lose weight (although it is nice). If I don’t work out for one day I can feel my body being tense and my emotions all over the place.
I use essential oils. Essential oils have helped me through some of the hardest times. I love smelling good, but there is something about them that makes me feel better mentally.
Focus and making lists. Planning ahead. You need to make lists of things to get done each day so that way you can feel accomplished and not worry.

And of course I allow the me time that I need…. For pedicures and massages. But those happen once a month or so where as the other things are daily

selfcare

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How Motherhood Changes Us

February 11, 2019January 16, 2019Leave a comment

Why are we so hard in ourselves?

Lately, I’ve been hard on myself – like, super hard. I wish I was farther along, I could get my life together, and I had more motivation. I mean, the list can go on and on.

Why didn’t I meet my sales goals? Why isn’t money magically appearing? Why are there more expenses and bills this month? Why can’t I manage all of this? Why are all of these things and more happening?

Oh, I forgot to clean today. The clothes are still in the dryer. Oh, and my son is climbing on me for attention. The dogs need food and now have my shoes. Like, this is life. I’m sure every single mom can relate.

It doesn’t matter if you have a business or you’re working, if you have one kid, three kids, none of that matters. We’re all going through the same experience. We feel these frustrations often, and we sit there, we try to navigate through, and think our lives are harder or different than the person next to us. We’re all just trying to figure it out together.

I honestly think that trying to manage a business while having kids, personally, is the hardest. I’ve worked when I have kids, and it was hard too. But I think owning a business and being a mom is by far the hardest thing ever because you have to have the time management and everything under control.

The truth is it is hard to be a parent. Before being a parent, I had no idea… right? No one does. But I had no idea how big of a role time management and multitasking played. I didn’t realize how forgetful I would be and how much I would procrastinate. At the end of the day though, I know my son is only going to be this age once, so I need to take it all in while I can.

What are your biggest obstacles as a mother or business owner or both?

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How to take care of yourself even in the darkest times.

June 16, 2017August 20, 2017Leave a comment

Take care of yourself

The first thing is first.. you must take care of yourself! In order to have good days you have to fill your head with positive thoughts. I have been having a heck of time with anxiety and OCD. I guess thats what the doctor calls it! I get incredibly overwhelmed for the smallest things EVER. I needed help and I made sure to get that help.

There’s going to be good days and there’s going to be bad today and this is all part of life. I realize this slower than I imagined. I feel like I can control everything and I feel like I don’t want change ever! So much has changed in the past six months that I have hit rock bottom many many times. After much and thoughts I have a few things that have worked for me.

Sticking to a schedule: This seems foolish to most people because they are like “I have a schedule.” A schedule is making sure that everything is pretty repetitive for the most part. Let’s look into my life. First I wake up an hour earlier than than the rest of the house (630). I take a shower and get my head ready and drink lots of water. Then I drop Antonio off at daycare I come home unload the dishwasher throw some laundry in make breakfast and the rest of the day is work until 430. I make sure that I eat my lunch at the same time everyday. I also meditate and do everything at the same time everyday. It is critical for me to have this schedule and stick so it.
De clutter your phone Sometimes we get side-tracked. Do you find time passing you by because you are constantly finding things on your phone? How many apps do you have on your phone? How many do you use? What is your biggest time consuming app!?
Monitor the next time you use apps all on your phone you will see that you spend way too much time on your phone.
Join me on this journey as I de clutter my phone! If I don’t use it or if I spend too much time on it it’s going.. I’m deleting all social media from my phone too. I work but things have got to go away and be settled. Social media will be fine without me after all my posts are scheduled anyway sooooo what’s the point?
It’s more than social media though it’s everything everything is on your phone like you can have your whole personally for the tip of your fingers it’s kind of scary at the same time if you think about it. When something is wrong we google instantly – let’s stop that!! I have done that far too much in the past and I am DONE. It causes more panic attacks than anything.
But more importantly it takes away time from your family and from your life. When you get bored you’re like oh let me go check Facebook let me go check that let me go play this game real quick no we need to stop that!!! Find something else where that energy can go! I’ve deleted three apps already and I’m probably going to delete more. I deleted with Snapchat, why another social media app? Why do we need Insta stories, Snapchat, Instagram, Pinterest? We wait for people to respond and like our stuff and its beyond frustrating!!
We shouldn’t have to have a freak attack or panic attack when we can’t find our phones either! How many times have freaked out when our phone is about to die? Our society is built on electronics and I LOVE my iPhone don’t give me wrong, but at the same time I’m in control I have to do what I have to do! You would be surprised to know how better you feel when you don’t have to sit on your phone. Let’s go back to the days when we just text and call with our cell phones!
Exercise: This is a work in progress for me. You have to do this!! It’s not to lose weight or to get fit but rather to release the hormone dopemine which helps you release stress and anxiety. I can’t tell you enough how great I feel after I do this!!
Meditate OR deep breathing: This is something that I preach about like religion. I do this at the same time everyday with an app called “headspace” It is incredible! I do deep breathing through out the day and meditate mid day and then meditate before I go bed. Through out the day I also put on my lavender oil so it helps calm me!