I used to think that getting a divorce was so horrible and that I would never go through it. The truth is so many people have gone through it and it is ‘normal.’ Even though I completely disagree with it, but I guess people change.
What I have learned since being on my own and going through a divorce has been an amazing feeling. You feel like you have hit the wall somedays but other days you feel on top of the world. Here a few ways divorce made me a better person:
- independence: say goodbye to those days when you need a handy man. There were times when I wish I had one… My toilet was clogged one day and it literally was stuck. My lawn mower didn’t start. You name it, I went through it. Sometimes I asked for help, other times I prayed, and other times I youtube. Through it all I realized nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and to take deep breaths, because it all will pass.
- new friendships: I was ashamed at first to tell people about my divorce. Actually people started to open and become my friends. They all had stories of something similar to them or their family. I made a ton of new friends and realized that I could rely on them for venting, hanging out, etc. It is a great feeling.
- better finances: I am still working on this, however… I know that I am doing much better than when we were together. I am able to not have to worry about every single little transaction that has been made. I used to hate when my ex would go to the gas station, or stores, literally ten times a day. Little things add up. I am able to really budget and be frugal the way I want to.
- reconnections: Again, I was ashamed or embarrassed at first, so I didn’t share with a lot of people. As time went on I knew that I was fine, and I opened up. I connected with a lot of old friends. These friends were people that I haven’t talked to in years, but still did care. Being out of state with my hometown friends was always hard but now I talk a lot more to some of them that matter.
- self love: For far too long, I let people bring me down or I would second guess myself. I learned that I am worthy and that I really love my personality and self. I learned that I like my body and that is that. If anyone wants to tell me different, then I just close them out, I don’t allow that negativity to enter my world.
- time management: since being a single mom I need to be extra careful about time. Every single minute, hour, and second, matters. If I am in the car waiting, I try to get whatever needs to be done, done. I learned that grocery pick up is amazing and so is the drive through pharmacy. There are so many great things I have done for time management.
- confidence: when I started to see that I don’t need any man in my life, I realized I was worthy and can do all things. It might sound rough to say that, but it is the truth. I stopped second guessing myself and I stopped questioning things. I realized that all along I have been diligent, smart, and worthy. I will not ever let anyone treat me the way I have been treated in the past.
- motherhood: With all the above, and more, I was able to take care of my son and devoted much more time and love to him. I focused on making sure that I could be the best possible mother for my son. Regardless of what his dad does or says, I know that I can control how I raise my son.
- freedom: There is a lot to this. I don’t mean I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Rather I can be free, that I don’t have to feel guilty if I am late from work, or if I am working, or if I am not cooking or cleaning for one day. As a wife and mother I felt like I was in the constant stress and battle with all of that, and now I don’t have to worry about any of that; I go at my own pace.
So if you are going through a divorce, or already have, know that you are not alone. There are tons of people who have gone through it, and it can make you better if you let it. I stopped over thinking about the good times, the bad times and what could of been and focused on myself. This helped me become a better person, and happier. If you aren’t happy with yourself no one else can EVER make you happy. Truth bomb.
So when is the next time you are going to go on a ‘mom vacation?’ —> Join me over in my private little clubhouse for FREE RIGHT NOW, before we no longer accept new members!!
